Thursday, September 30, 2010

I can has cheezburger

Sometimes an AOA needs a little stress relief right here at the computer. I like to look at pictures of animals. One of my favorite sites is I can has cheezburger. Click on the Upcoming tab for the best pics. Here are a few to get you started.














Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Slogans

Here are some sign slogan suggestions for either rally on October 30: to Restore Sanity or to Keep Fear Alive. The sources wish to remain anonymous, but you'll know them if you see them downtown. Have fun with it. We all need a break.


  1. My opinions on issues are too complex to fit on a rally sign.

  1. Firefighters are socialists.

  1. After much in-depth research, I am pro-masturbation.

  1. I appreciate a rally that is intentionally ironic.

  1. I am pro spell-check.

  1. Keep the theory of evolution where it belongs:  in our nation’s science classes.

  1. Please stop revising our textbooks (especially the history ones).

  1. I have hobbies and interests that extend beyond rally attendance.

  1. Please stop equating socialism with fascism.  They are different, mutually exclusive forms of government. 

  1. Fear is all you need.

  1. Fear fills the hole in my life that was left when my cat died/I lost my job.

  1. Fear fills the hole in my life that my gun collection can’t.

  1. I enjoy oversimplification and buzzwords.

  1. Without fear, I might have to do something productive with my free time. 

  1. Without fear, I might have to give back to the community/spend time with my kids.

  1. Fear allows me to defend the constitution without having to read it.  What a time saver.

  1. Without fear, the optimists win. 

  1. Conspiracy theories help me avoid real life.

    Saturday, September 25, 2010

    Help, please?

    I have friends of all ages, sexes, colors, religions, and marital status, and even if I rarely see you and only follow you on facebook or through your blogs, I want you to know that I do read everything you have to say. And I learn from you, even though I may post the occasional politically incorrect comment on your wall. Forgive me. I am a clumsy teenager when it comes to this electronic social media.

    Life is hard. We all have a sad story. But we have each other, too. I'm sitting here in the early hours of the morning thinking that we really need to remember how much we have in common, no matter what our differences are. I need to believe that my children will be able to raise their children in a world at peace, that one day we will all understand we are one: the human race.

    I want your help. I'm serious about going down to the mall on Oct. 30 with signs that illustrate our common humanity. We all want the same things: a home, enough food, medical care when we're sick, satisfying work, freedom to practice (or not practice) a religion, a clean environment, and a safe future for our children. All of this democrat-republican angry rhetoric is depressing (not to mention useless).

    So I am asking for your help: Send this request to your friends and family, in the US and overseas. Spread the word. Ask them what they want to say to Washington, not anger, but a heartfelt expression of something simple, specific and good that every human being can understand. I promise to find people to carry signs. I will post your responses on this site. Thank you, it's nice to know I have someone to talk to at five in the morning.


    Friday, September 24, 2010

    On Sanity

    As someone who was, for several years, bat-shit crazy, I feel I have the right, nay, the obligation to comment on The Rally to Restore Sanity. (See also the facebook page.)
    This is an AOA dream! Think about it. As an adult, we are the responsible going-about-our-business types. But the adolescent in us very much wants to rally, raise the picket sign and generally misbehave. This event captures the essence of our dual nature. And, since I live in the DC area, it's easy to get to, cheap, convenient.


    I am having difficulty thinking up the exact phrase for my sign. This being Punctuation Appreciation Day, I'm considering "I'll read your pledge, if it's punctuated correctly."
    Wouldn't it be awesome if we could get a group of AOAs with appropriately AOA signs together for the rally? Or, if that's too much trouble, how about sending me your sign ideas and I'll find people to carry them? Let's be reasonable. 



    News-y Stuff

    So I'm looking at my previous post and not liking it at all. Not the look of the poem, which I had to upload as a jpeg to preserve the typeface and spacing, and not the poem itself. It was a  PREMATURE POST.
    It's very difficult to know exactly when a poem is finished, sometimes they never are, and seeing this one onscreen allowed me to see it in a different light. It needs work. I may take it down, especially now that...
    I'M GETTING PUBLISHED!
    Yes this is big news. I received two acceptances in twelve hours. My head remained swelled for the next twenty-four! You can look for two of my poems online in The Light Ekphrastic sometime after November and an essay in the November issue of Urbanite Baltimore. For one day, I felt like the luckiest person on Earth. Now, especially after the premature poem post, I'm just anxious about getting the poems right. It's nice.

    Tuesday, September 21, 2010

    My First

    No, not that first. Stop that adolescent thinking for a moment.
    This is my first time ... to post my work online. It's a poem I wrote when I was frustrated trying to write a poem about my childhood for a poetry class assignment. It just showed up in my journal. I didn't use it for class; it's really my reflection on my children. So, here's looking at you, kids:


    Poem removed for renovation.

    Saturday, September 18, 2010

    Hybrid Vigor

    As an AOA, I can't resist the urge to brag a little. Back in the day it would have been sexual escapades or sports (if I had been at all athletic, which I wasn't). These days I rely on my children for bragging rights. My late husband called it Hybrid Vigor: when the offspring are better than either parent was alone (it's a botanical term). Therefor I give you a sample of my son's work. Not only is it outstanding visually, but he can do the math!

    Designing and Navigating are in my future!

    Am I in there? Only Jackson Pollock knows.
    I've been thinking about what a website that illustrates me, and isn't a Jackson Pollock abstract, would look like. 
    First, it has to be easy to navigate, as we AOAs don't have a lot of patience. I like a left-side vertical menu and will go with that. I also want the menu bar to remain the same on all pages that open, with a distinct Home at the bottom.


    Graphic wise, I've sketched out a design with a tree on the left (I'm thinking the menu would reside in the trunk), and footsteps creating a meandering path on the ground beside the tree. I'd like these to be interactive footprints that will open photos from various stages of life. Some footprints might be baby-sized, others adult, leading to the appropriate baby or adult photo. 


    It's an ambitious design for me, since I don't know anything about computer programming or website building software. The photo part would involve scanning a lot of old photos into Photoshop, but my prof seems confidant that this is doable (the basics anyway), so ... away we go.

    Thursday, September 16, 2010

    The Quest:

    Create my own website.  By Oct. 8!   Yikes!   

    Basic things I must consider while building this website: Content, Navigation, and Graphics and Design. 

    The Goal? A website that illustrates who I am as a writer.
     
    I barely know who I am as a person, and that changes from day to day (sometimes quicker). Who am I as a writer? We AOAs have identity issues. This is going to be one twitchy site, all the little voices in my head condensed into one electronic billboard.

    As for Content, I'm thinking:
        1.  a bio: shorter than an online dating profile (those are pure torture)
        2.  fiction: a few of my short stories that have never seen the light of day
        3.  poetry: again, you won't see this anywhere else
        4.  links: to some things related to my writing, like the MFA program at UB, and some good writerly sites.

    Plea: Please feel free to toss ideas into the comments box. All will be welcomed and considered seriously. Seriously.
    Next post: Navigation and Design

    Monday, September 13, 2010

    Magical Thinking

    Anyone can become bat-shit crazy. And AOAs are ok with that.
    From abc news:
    While boarding a plane in July, Lisa Niemi sent a text message to her husband, the actor Patrick Swayze. Even though he died of pancreatic cancer a year ago Tuesday. It could have been a scene out of"Ghost," the romantic comedy starring Swayze and Demi Moore. Niemi, 54, said it helps her feel his presence.
    Her behavior is not unusual, say psychologists who help grieving spouses. In fact, it is normal -- a kind of "magical thinking."
    Joan Didion coined the term in her 2005 memoir, "The Year of Magical Thinking," about the death of her husband John Gregory Dunne.
    In the days after Dunne collapsed of a heart attack before her at dinner, Didion wrote she was afraid to give away his shoes, for fear that he would return and need them.
    Vicki Kennedy, the widow of Sen. Ted Kennedy, who died of brain cancer a year ago, said his absence in their Washington home is palpable: "Teddy's in every room."

    Heads Up! (pun intended). Warning: Sexual Content

    An AOA cautionary tale:

        For his 75th birthday, a man received a gift certificate from his wife. The certificate paid for a visit to a shaman living on a nearby reservation who was rumored to have a wonderful cure for erectile dysfunction.
        He drove to the reservation, handed his certificate to the medicine man and wondered what he was in for.
        The old shaman slowly, methodically produced a potion, handed it to him, and with a grip on his shoulder, warned, "This is powerful medicine and it must be respected. You take only a teaspoonful and then say '1-2-3'. When you do that, you will become more manly than you have ever been in your life and you can perform as long as you want."
        The man was encouraged.   As he walked away, he turned and asked,  "How do I stop the medicine from working?"
        "Your partner must say: '1-2-3-4', but when she does, the medicine will not work again until the next full moon."
        The old gent was very eager to see if it worked, so he went home, showered, shaved, took a spoonful of the medicine and then invited his wife to join him in the bedroom. When she came in, he took off his clothes and said, "1-2-3!" Immediately, he was the manliest of men.
        His wife, excited, began throwing off her clothes. Then she asked, "What was the 1-2-3 for?"
      And that is why we should never end our sentences with a preposition: we could end up with a dangling participle.

    Thanks to CS.
     

    Friday, September 10, 2010

    Now I Choose?

    So after all the late-night web browsing for author's sites, hypertext narratives, and online 'zines, not to mention the unnecessary forays to YouTube and facebook, I'm supposed to choose one online site or project I'd be interested in learning how to do. @#%*#*! How about: any of the good stuff?


    Takes me back to my Jimi Hendrix days.
    But honestly, there are two sites that I really love, even though they're almost polar opposites. One is Saul Wiliam's website, an incredible amalgam of poetry, art, music and video presented through a shuffling of opaque images that link viewers to one imaginative sight after another (along with the requisite Amazon link).






    A Monson circuit
    Another site where I can lose myself for an hour or two is Ander Monson's webpage. Monson's page is stark, with links to links to links, like a circuit diagram (you should read his awesome book Other Electricities to appreciate the idea behind the design). Even without the having read the book, the site will engage you. The links include poetry, essays, and some stuff that's just Ander Monson being Ander Monson. 


    My dream project is to combine the two concepts into an artsy, link to link to link site of my writing and art and/or video and or music, from yet-to-be-determined sources, to create the "Cate Experience." Really, if I'm going to dream, I may as well dream big.
    Are YOU experienced?


    For the ADD among us

    After many, many hours trolling the dregs of online literary magazines (and yes, they are often as overblown as the phrase "online literary magazines"), I stumbled upon this small jewel of a site. La Petite Zine has a crisp, modern look with an eclectic collection of short poetry and prose (1000 words or fewer). 


    La Petite's format and content is especially well suited to an online publication. It's literary Twitter on steroids. I love the ability to read a well-written short (which takes me a few minutes) and then skip my overly-loaded brain on to another 1000 word gem. My ADD side is satisfied by the variety and wit available in one edition. Be sure to read the "Dear Readers" letter; it sets the tone for the magazine. 


    Somehow, when I'm on line with La Petite Zine, I feel like a hipster (almost), if I could just pin down what that means... I feel a hipster cartoon in my blog future! 


    He is the man I need to meet.

    Wednesday, September 8, 2010

    A Secret Surveillance

    Camp Hulen, Texas, where the author began.

    Revelations of a Secret Surveillance is a fictional history based on author Judy Malloy's family. This is not a choose-your-own adventure hypertext narrative. Rather, it is, as the author writes, "a hybrid of informational accretion and poetic fragmentation."


    In other words, hypertext is used in a non-linear way that allows readers to follow a story that unfolds in eight "Cantos" while exploring Malloy's poetic tangents, for example: " butter sliced and spread on warm bread," or "looking at paintings."


    Malloy uses hypertext to achieve a more sophisticated effect than the more common 'this way or that way' story. You are not led down dead-end paths; you are submersed in the written work. Try it, at least once.

    Special Topics in Calamity Physics

    A friend recommended this book by first-time novelist Marisha Pessl, and one look at her website hooked me. The main page is a detailed interactive drawing, with mystery music, where you click various items to open links about the author and her novel.


    The site contains the usual author info, reviews, links to buy the book, and upcoming events, but you have to play on the site to find them. The best thing about the site is that it contains a slew of unusual tidbits that augment the printed novel. Click around and you'll find maps, notes, chapter titles, a cast of characters and more. Be sure to click on the Cliff Notes. And turn off the light to see who's watching you.


    I love this website because it is not an author tribute, but a glimpse into Marisha Pessl's style and sense of humor. You want to buy the book because the author presents it as a fun and quirky read. It's not all about Marisha; it's about the writing. 

    Saturday, September 4, 2010

    Wednesday, September 1, 2010

    bat-shit crazy

    Okay, so this adding links thing is not going so well. If you want to know the etymology of bat-shit crazy, go to the NY Times health link on the right and type Disseminated Histoplasmosis in the Search box and you will end up at the proper place. The big thing is that this disease, caused by a fungus found in bat (and pigeon) shit can cause changes in mental status. Thus bat-shit crazy. Pigeon-shit crazy just doesn't have the same punch. I guess that's why it never caught on. Plus bats are much more scary than pigeons.